Intimate moments in a former foster youth's life after foster care, healing generational trauma and becoming a mother.
Reflections on the Wild and Unique Rollercoaster Ride of Parenthood
Reflections on the Wild and Unique Rollercoaster Ride of Parenthood

Reflections on the Wild and Unique Rollercoaster Ride of Parenthood


In a few days, I will go from being an infant mom to a toddler mom, and my heart can’t take how quickly this year has passed. While the first few weeks postpartum seemed to last forever, there was a turning point where everything seemed to happen in the blink of an eye. Time sure moves differently in parenthood!

One minute my son is a newborn, and the next, he is a walking toddler, practicing his newest sounds and words, getting into everything he can. This past year has been wild. It still blows my mind that I carried and birthed a whole baby.

The Newborn Stage

At the risk of sounding controversial, as much as I loved having a newborn, I don’t miss that stage. It was cute, and the snuggles were beautiful. But no part of me misses the 3 am shriek cries from an overtired baby. Nor do I miss the amount of laundry I had to do when he peed everywhere during diaper changes. I don’t miss the soreness that came with cluster feeding. Although I am learning that soreness does return when your child gets teeth! I don’t miss feeling like I couldn’t leave my house. Risking my tiny baby picking up someone’s sickness that could be life-threatening to him.

Though I knew eventually, that stage would be over, while in the thick of it, it often felt like it would never end. But one day, it did. Just as I got the hang of the stage I was in, we’d transition into the next phase, and I would have to learn all over again. As someone who isn’t the biggest fan of change,  I had to learn early on that this was the way of parenting. I would have no choice but to learn how to go with the flow.  

Unexpected Turns

I’ve almost forgotten what it was like before I unexpectedly went on maternity leave. I went to my 37-week check-up after work and never returned. My doctor wanted me to check in with the hospital to monitor my blood pressure. I was to bring my hospital bag that still hadn’t been packed, just in case.

I was in a daze on the way home. No part of me wanted to go to the hospital. It was too early, and I wasn’t ready. It felt surreal that I could go to the hospital and come home with a baby within the next few days. Which is precisely what happened. It felt illegal to bring him home. He was so tiny, barely fitting in his car seat or any newborn clothes. So vulnerable I worried about how I would protect him outside the womb.

He’s nowhere near the same baby I took home from the hospital. In many aspects, he is. But in many more, he isn’t. Though logically, I know he’s still a baby for a few more days, he seems so far from being a baby.

The First Birthday Dilemma

If there is anything I have learned in my first year of parenthood, it is to expect the unexpected. For weeks I stressed over birthday plans for the babe. Running and tossing ideas by my husband that we felt he would enjoy. Nothing seemed good enough, or enough for that matter. The nagging voice in my head often told me that I had to plan something extravagant for him; otherwise, it wouldn’t count. Otherwise, I would be a bad mom.

Ultimately it came down to us trying to plan a kids birthday party, but with more adults than kids his age. So we opted to take a step back and do a small celebration at home with just us. Good thing we did because our poor little babe woke up sick for his birthday and wouldn’t have been able to enjoy his party.

The Continued Adventure of Parenthood

Concluding this journey of my first year as a parent fills me with a mix of emotions. It’s been a whirlwind of growth and adaptation, filled with both joys and challenges. From the sleepless nights to the tender moments of bonding, every experience has shaped me into the parent I am today. As I reflect on the past year, I’m reminded of the importance of embracing the unexpected and being flexible in the face of change. I’m also reminded to enjoy whatever phase I am in because it won’t last forever. I am grateful for the lessons this year has taught me and look forward to what’s to come.

Now, I invite you to share your own experiences and reflections in the comments below. Whether you’re a seasoned parent or expecting your first child, I would love to hear your thoughts and insights. Let’s create a space where we can celebrate the joys, support each other through the challenges, and build a community of understanding and compassion.

So, please take a moment to leave a comment and share your experiences. I can’t wait to read your stories and continue this beautiful journey of parenthood together.

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