Finding peace and purpose while healing from trauma is a journey, and for many, faith is a profoundly healing force along the way. In my journey, my relationship with faith has evolved drastically over the years. Growing up, the church wasn’t a welcoming space—it felt distant, more about formality than connection. But as life unfolded, and especially after my mom passed, I found myself seeking God more genuinely, trying to make sense of the pain and find a foundation that felt strong enough to hold it.
A Different Kind of Church Experience
I first encountered faith in a meaningful way in my foster home, where Sunday school and youth group became part of my weekly rhythm. I had begun to learn about Jesus and what faith could mean. Unfortunately, the actions I saw around me didn’t always align with the words I heard. This experience of “church hurt”—seeing people preach about love and grace while acting in hurtful ways—was confusing and made me question religion as a whole.
To anyone who has also experienced “church hurt,” it’s important to remember: it isn’t God who caused that trauma, but rather people who may not have truly lived by His teachings. The Pharisees in the Bible also claimed knowledge of God but missed the heart of His message. I had to learn to separate people from God’s nature, understanding that while people can disappoint, His love remains steadfast.
Finding God After Loss
The moment when faith became personal to me was after my mother’s passing. There was a depth of pain where nothing else could comfort me, and I reached for a connection with God. Specific Bible verses have since become anchors for me, like Isaiah 43:2, which promises that we’re never alone in our struggles, and Philippians 4:13, a constant reminder that we’re strengthened through Christ. These verses have been there in my darkest moments, helping me feel held and protected.
Practical Ways I Connect with Faith
One of the most incredible gifts faith has brought me is the power of worship and prayer as coping mechanisms. When I’m emotionally drained, worship music helps me center myself and feel God’s presence. Prayer has become essential, primarily as I work to replace rumination with a habit of turning to God. On tough days, I write out my prayers in a journal, which has been a helpful way to stay focused when it’s hard to quiet my mind.
Building a relationship with God has helped shift my perspective, reminding me of who I truly am. Faith has allowed me to see myself through God’s eyes, breaking free from the false identities that trauma had created in me. This doesn’t mean I don’t struggle. In times of doubt, I think of the Father in the Bible, who asked Jesus to help his unbelief. I, too, have moments when I feel surrounded by difficulties, but I remind myself that I’m also surrounded by God, held by a love more potent than any pain or fear.
The Science Behind Healing Practices Like Crying
Healing from trauma often involves letting out emotions that have been bottled up, and for me, that’s sometimes through crying—really letting it all out. Studies show that crying releases oxytocin and endorphins, which can ease physical and emotional pain. By expressing these emotions fully, we allow our bodies to let go of built-up stress. It’s a profound, even sacred, act of release for which our bodies are wired. This connects to Peter Levine’s (Walking the Tiger) work on somatic experiencing, where he emphasizes the need to physically release trauma, much like how animals shake off stress after a threat. In embracing practices like crying and shaking, we’re respecting the wisdom of our bodies and engaging in physical acts of healing.
Inviting Faith into Everyday Life
In my healing journey, I’m learning that faith is something to live out every day, not just in prayer or worship. I’ve been trying to turn to God first for everything, though it’s not always easy. On high-rumination days, I remind myself of verses like Romans 8:28, which assures me that all things work together for good, even when I can’t see how. This simple daily connection—sometimes through listening to worship music, prayer, or just being grateful—grounds me and reminds me of my true worth and purpose.
If you’re on a similar journey, and perhaps struggling to connect with faith, remember that faith isn’t about perfection; it’s about intention and trust. It’s okay to have doubts, to feel distant, or to need a fresh start in your relationship with God. Try this simple prayer: “God, I trust You’re with me every moment. Help me see myself through Your eyes and guide me in letting go of the burdens that don’t serve me.” Building a support system through faith is a journey, and each step counts.
If You’re Building Your Faith Foundation, You’re Not Alone
If you’re reading this and feel called to share a verse, a story, or even a question, please know that this space is one of support and understanding. Let’s be there for each other, building faith and healing together.