Intimate moments in a former foster youth's life after foster care, healing generational trauma and becoming a mother.
Breaking Free: Rewriting the Narrative of Self-Limitation
Breaking Free: Rewriting the Narrative of Self-Limitation

Breaking Free: Rewriting the Narrative of Self-Limitation


For as long as I can remember, I felt like a storm trapped inside a fragile teacup. Every moment felt precarious as if a single drop could cause an overflow.


My emotions were a wild rollercoaster; one moment, I laughed hysterically, and the next, a minor inconvenience plunged me into despair. I lived in a state of high alert, with every sound, smell, or touch a potential trigger, though I had no idea why. The unpredictability of my emotions left me confused and frustrated, unable to understand why I reacted so intensely.

To cope, I often dismissed my erratic behavior with, “This is just the way I am.” This mindset became a self-fulfilling prophecy, a dangerous mantra locking me in a cycle of pain and denial. Why do we so readily accept these limiting beliefs? Perhaps because they offer a semblance of comfort, a way to make sense of the chaos within. But in doing so, we imprison ourselves in a narrative that stifles growth and healing.

When my mother passed away, it felt like the ground was yanked from beneath me. Her death was a sharp, cold slap to the face, waking me from a long, numbing sleep. This was the catalyst for the change I desperately needed, though it could have easily dragged me further into the abyss. Before her passing, life had its challenges, but I managed to navigate through them. Her death, however, changed everything.

In the initial months after my mother’s passing, I was consumed by grief. I isolated myself, struggled to eat or sleep, and felt the weight of my loss in every aspect of my life. PTSD gripped me tightly, snuffing out the light that once shone within. I stared into the mirror, seeing a stranger’s hollow eyes—a far cry from the vibrant, spirited person I used to be. Flipping through old photos, I barely recognized the carefree smile and sparkling eyes that used to define me. It wasn’t self-loathing that haunted me but a deep sadness for the person I had lost.

Yet, in this darkness, I found a sliver of hope. Could it be that I was given a chance to rebuild myself from the ground up, stronger and more resilient through this profound loss?

As I grieved for her, I also mourned the vibrant person I used to be, now a distant memory lost in the shadows of my mind. Why do we let the voices of others define our worth? It’s a question I grappled with as I stood at this crossroads. At first, facing these truths was daunting. The idea of confronting my pain felt insurmountable yet necessary for any real change. It felt easier to remain in the comfort of familiar pain. Realizing that the narrative I had been living was not my own was both liberating and terrifying. It meant I had the power to rewrite my story, but it also meant confronting the pain and taking ownership of my healing.

Amidst the suffocating darkness of grief, a tiny but persistent sliver of hope began to emerge. This was my chance to reclaim my identity and rebuild my life, brick by brick. I started by setting small, achievable goals like walking each morning and reconnecting with an old friend. Surrounding myself with supportive, positive influences helped immensely.

With these small steps, I started to see the possibility of change. Our journey through self-discovery and resilience unveils a powerful truth: the narratives we cling to often confine us more than they define us. Just as I once believed I was fated to be a prisoner of my emotions, so too might you harbor self-limiting beliefs that shackle you from realizing your full potential. With each small step, I began to see glimmers of the person I could become, recognizing that change, though gradual, was indeed possible.

Let us challenge the notion that we are bound by the limitations of our past or the judgments of others. Let us imagine a reality where our worth is not determined by external validation or past mistakes but by the boundless potential within each of us.

As you reflect on your journey, consider the narratives that have shaped your identity. Are they serving you, empowering you to thrive and grow? Or are they holding you back, imprisoning you in a cycle of doubt and self-denial?

Embrace the discomfort of challenging these self-limiting beliefs. Embrace the uncertainty of rewriting your story. For it is in this space of vulnerability and courage that true transformation occurs. And remember, you are not alone on this journey. Together, let us reclaim our narratives, embracing the fullness of who we are and
unlocking the limitless possibilities that await us.

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